On Being a Mom

July 30, 2014, almost a year ago when I delivered my first child. I was nervous because I didn't even know how it feels. What I was just certain of back then is that I have to do it and I have to be strong.

Then he came...7:37am, he finally came out...


It was memorable and precious. A feeling that you can never ever define, it was just unique and pure. When I saw him, it's love at first sight, but at the same time I was feeling a bit anxious.. "how am I suppose to take care of this little one?". I was afraid and when you say afraid?? I was really way too scared.


Scared that I might hurt him, that I might not be able to breastfeed him...that I might just not be good enough for him. I am practically doomed! and honestly? I was afraid to become a Mom.

I started to feel baby blues, yeah! not everyone knew (except my husband,  all those who are close to me and my Mom) that I suffered post partum depression that lasted for about 4 months. It was a very challenging battle and a roller coaster emotional ride. A fight that only I can overcome and happy to say that I did!

It's my instinct that brought me back to where I should stand. I boost my morale by pushing my will to breastfeed my child. Everytime I am doing it, it just feels so right and just brings me closer to him. All the fears have started to subside and the so called depression suddenly went away. Now my heart has just accepted the fact that my life has already changed but ooppss, allow me to say that it didn't just change, I would love to say that it has been upgraded.

I learned to appreciate and respect my Mom more. Why? because I already started to feel the things that probably made her worry, laugh, cry and happy too.


I should say, this is the best job ever. Now that he is almost 1 year old and he can finally smile at me, utter some words  like "a-me" (wanted to think that it's mommy though) and kiss my cheeks....

I still have a veeerrryyy long way to go. I am happy to spend this journey of motherhood with my family and of course my son.